Has this (Relation)Ship Sailed?
Relationships. Life is Relationship. A rich life is full of strong relationships. Our existence seems to be created for relationships. I am struggling with the tempestuous task of maintaining them. Funny it was a tiff between Real Housewives of New York that brought me understanding and peace about why I have been so torn.
In the gospels, the first commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength. That is a relationship with God.
The second commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself. That is a relationship with everyone else you know.
I have to guess that how successful my people relationships are is a reflection of my relationship with God. With God involved in the first commandment it makes sense that friends from church should be the strongest and the ones to help guide. It used to be that way. But what happens when it is the church relationships that are failing? A few years ago, circumstances occurred that took away those friendships. It was not so much the things that happened, but the words that people said to me about the ‘things’ that broke my ties to the people. I have struggled being around those people. More circumstances happened. And I no longer saw any friends there. It was not only the loss that I struggled with. I felt that it was my failures, my faults that made this happen. And I do accept that I am responsible for my reaction to things said. But I still was at a loss as to why I was so defeated about it all.
Then along came Dorinda and Ramona. Friends for 20 yrs. Bad words were spoken by Ramona about Dorinda’s boyfriend. When Dorinda explained that it was her safe place that was destroyed, I finally understood. It was safety that I felt with my church friends. It should be in those waters at church where my boat can float most safely. But their unkind words broke my heart and removed the safe place I could be. If these people full of God’s love could say such unkind things to my face about other people, what were they saying about me to other people? I actually think I might know.
So yep, those (Relation)ships have sailed. But that should not be my focus anyway. It is the first commandment that needs to remain first. And some tiny canoes or kayaks will go back into the waters of friend relationships because that is how the journey always must start. And ‘ships’ will follow after.